(*points to title* once again listening to the Requiem for a Dream ost. The song Winter, Ghosts of a Future Lost always makes me feel nostalgic; especially around this time of year).

Uhm.. I *think* my internet problems are fixed. Been good to go for a while, but having intermittent drops, still. The information fast (despite having some major commission stuff to sort out and other emails between friends) was really quite nice. I know to a lot of people who think saying that is like HERESY, but if you can, you should really try it. :)

A little while ago, the binding (sort of) broke on my previous sketchbook, and since I’m VERY particular about the things that I draw on (OCD even), even something as small as a bent wire was enough to send me angsting back to the art store. So this is Benediction. >__>;; I very rarely put lyrics on the first page but it seemed right this time. From ‘Unforgivable’ by Armin van Buuren featuring Jaren (GOOD SH8T~!!!) NOT that it means anything—it’s just the type of music I’ve been really into lately….

“Well it ain’t over till it’s over, and my world shuts down.
But this comes close, I’ll have you know. It’s just a matter of time.
But it ain’t over till it’s over, and I won’t be made a fool…”

***
So this is what happens when I try to get an art trade taken care of long past my bed time. ^__^;; (Kaiousei, if you’re reading this, it was SUPPOSED to be for you). hahah. But it turned out really badly, so I decided to test out my new inks on it. I think I really want to work with concentrated ink more. The colors are *really* vibrant and workable (if a little expensive). I need to find some paper other than bristol (HAATE) to work with.
**A specific request prior to a very large commission set. ^__^;;;;; Buubuuu.

What I’m working on currently (that’s *not* a commission) and a big giant dinosaur bug bite~! (Kaiousei, if you’re reading this, this is ‘prototype’ Mary). :P Bristol, BLECH~!

And Kumo, because he’s cute. X3 (fear teh ichigo undies~!!!!)

Sometimes I feel a lot like a Vulture. Just like a pathetic scavenger waiting on the sidelines (vultures are anything but pathetic, btw). Waiting patiently (though on the inside it’s anything but patient) for my own chance to eat. I sit. I wait. I watch others gorge. I sit. I wait. I plot.

(Oh dear, my kitten is trying to attack my birds again (I just got a new cage to separate my finches. Do you know of Cordon’s Bleu Finches? They’re SOOO beautiful~! Despite their price for a small and shortlived bird, I might have to buy a breeding pair. They’re amazing~!)
(the pic doesn’t do them ANY justice)

I feel something. I feel nothing. And it probably sounds like I’m high if somebody is reading this (I’m not :P).

Right now I’m feeling something. It’s inside and screaming to be let out. I want to catch it on my own. I want to tear it apart limb from limb on my own. NO watching others do it, this time. I want to sink my teeth in and make a mark myself……I want to put it on paper. :)

I want to make [you] happy. :(
***
Ponyo on the Cliff was a cute little movie (didn’t see it in theaters, thou–and it’s simple enough to understand in Japanese without help). Of course, with my little (read: HUGE) shouta-con, Sousuke is my favorite. XD My landlord who took his kids to go see it (I couldn’t go *sniff*) was telling me that maybe Ponyo could have been autistic (or that she has attributes of an autistic child). I think that’s awesome~!! If that’s true, then I hope that other people also begin to explore this type of character creation. “Imperfect” (who are just as well perfect to me) people deserve to have representation, too. ^__^;;

Nggyeah. Back to drawing smut for other people~! <3

Fuck you August, for going by so damned fast~! >__>;;

Still no art. Not art I can show, at least. *sigh*
So you get to see Kumo, in a place he shouldn’t be (my poor birds~!!!!).

Have you seen the movie Okuribito (Departures here in the US)? Holy crow, if not, you really should. I won’t get into a review, but to say the least, it made me cry in a number of places (and piggies don’t cry~!!!). It’s a very quiet movie, in the sense that it’s not ostentatious; just people trying to live the best they can while dealing with death. Watch it watch it watch it, if you can. :)